Ugh! I am sick of writing teeny-weeny poems and stories. I should be writing better, readable and quality stuff. But all I do is to churn out substandard stuff especially the poems. I had written those poems sometime back. Today while sifting through one of the documents I came across those and thought to post them. How bold I have become for posting the poor poems that should have been discarded!
I was wondering why most of my poems are so dark and gray. Amazingly, most of the times they hardly reflect my inner feelings yet I write them down. Does this mean something has gone terribly wrong with my imaginative power? Oh well, when you would see (Interior Minister) Rahman Malik and snakes, MJ and Meera in your dreams; hear the gory stuff related to Pakistan and it’s poor and battered people on everyday basis. Then you would sure end up writing such low quality stuff like I did.
On the other hand, I am wondering is this some other kind of writer’s block. Where you can think of ideas but can’t write them down and when you ultimately do write, it turns out to be an ignorable piece of crap.
There is another problem as well that I can’t write even general, day to day stuff in an interesting narrative either. Blue? Maybe! Maybe not! But I want to break free and express all that’s going on in my mind. My mind starts to race at the most unexpected times, such as when I am getting ready to sleep. Or I am offering prayers. Or I am engaged in other important tasks. I do write down important notes and points but I lose the fluency and string of thoughts. And with that I lose an interest as well to produce the idea bubbling in my mind on paper. So many wonderful ideas have died in my mind that way.
After reading the above lines that I wrote a few minutes back, I think I’m going too hard on myself. I should take things easy. After all this blog is my space and I have a right to post anything I like. So please readers bear with my teeny-weeny creative writing for I am going through creative blue :D