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Memory

November 20, 2009

Mind is like a tin box – that holds every bit of past that one wants to forget but can’t.

‘Why is it tough to forget?’ He asked his friend.

‘It’s because we don’t let go.’

‘Why don’t we?’

‘We expect the return of good time.’

‘Why do we expect?’

‘We expect… because that’s how our mind works. We can’t help it.’

He wasn’t satisfied with his friend’s answers. His shrink had told him there was no coming back of good times. He thought to act on his advice of imprisoning his memories into a small box. He put a few strands of her hair that he had found sticking to her pillow days after she had left, in the bed of the box. Then he put the perfumed love notes sent by her and finally the hankie on which she had embroidered his name initials with red thread.

He drove to the bridge over the river, came out of his car and tossed the box, where they said were the deadliest whirlpools. He saw a tiny dot whirling and disappearing. A strange sense of satisfaction came over him as if he got rid of some obnoxious burden. That moment realism took over him. He was about to move on but… her face still seemed to hung right in front of his eyes. He rubbed his eyes and struggling to grope the smoky images pulled over his car.

He broke into an ironic laughter. He was laughing so hard that the tears began to fall. He said out loud, ‘And the therapist thought that way I’ll forget all the memories. He didn’t know the memory resides in heart and consumes my mind. Will he ask me next to lock my heart and mind in the box and throw it away in the river? Silly… old, shrink! He hissed and drove away struggling with the shadows lingering in his mind, dancing in front of his eyes.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. November 21, 2009 5:10 am

    That is an absorbing piece!

    Reminded me a video of a Fuzon song ‘teray bin o sanam, kya khushi kiasa ghum’ .. made on the same topic theme.

    Good work!

    • November 21, 2009 1:47 pm

      Really? Will check the video 🙂

  2. Asma Ahsan permalink
    November 21, 2009 8:40 pm

    Hmm – why try to forget someone?

    I have never tried to forget anyone. Infact I often sit and think about my past. When I think of the ones who left me behind and who I was forced to leave behind, after perhaps missing them a bit, I keep remembering why I let them leave my life in the first place.

    Once I remember that, I reach the harsh conclusion that since being around them hurt me more than being without them, perhaps I had done the right thing after all in accepting the lesser evel.

    I dont believe in shrinks. 😛

    • November 21, 2009 8:45 pm

      Neither do I believe in shrinks!

      You never try to forger because you are special not everyone is like that 🙂

    • Asma Ahsan permalink
      November 21, 2009 9:48 pm

      Jee nahin – I remember so I can wallow in a lot of self pity. 😛

      I loved feeling sorry for myself for a long long time – then one day I thougnt – be realistic yaar – better to be alone than be around people who make me feel bad about me. 🙂

      See, if someone hurt me in cold blood, they were never sincere with me in the first place. A person who is sincere never hurts the one they care about by shattering their self respect and self esteem.

      I remember them because its a lesson to be learnt – If I forget the evil done to me, the same type of people may try to use me again the same way. Better safe than sorry. 🙂

    • November 22, 2009 12:12 pm

      Forgive but don’t forget! 😀

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