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January 7, 2009

It’s difficult to write about things that define me because I don’t understand myself very much. I believe in moving on with a flow of time still there are certain things such as dreams and hopes, aims and goals that remain embedded in our hearts throughout. I have been tagged by Aadil so that I could express my take on certain words and phrases.

If it weren’t for a hope I would have died long ago. I see a note of hope in the smile of my loved ones. I can also find it in their reassuring words. I value that a lot. And I feel lucky to have such people in life who always keep my spirits high.

I am scared of the time when want becomes need. There are so many things that I want in life such as I want to bring comfort in my father’s life. I want to be a good human being. I want to be loved by all. Now that is totally opposite to the saying, you can’t please everyone but I want people around me to be happy with me instead of complaining. There are so many things that I want… because there is no end to our wants.

I am someone who is always criticizing herself. Yet I do love myself for being a practicing Muslim. I don’t want to sound pompous about it but yes, after interacting with several people from various backgrounds I have realized that unfortunately there are many born Muslims who are away from their faith and almost border on atheism. And if by any chance they believe in God they don’t believe in the rest of the Islamic tenets. That actually is disturbing. Here, I would like to add that I am not a very great person or a perfect practicing Muslim but still at least I strive and that’s what matters at the end of the day.

I could both be called a lucky as well as an unlucky person. I do come across very good people, we hit it off and become fast friends but then it ends somewhere, somehow. I do cherish the wonderful memories of my best friends from school and college. I don’t know why it happens that we lose touch. Maybe people become too busy and engrossed in their lives that they don’t take out time for friends. Whatever, I am still blessed with some wonderful (best) friends in life.

I am fifty-fifty when it comes to making resolutions. I never make new year or birthday resolutions. With me things are a bit on the strange side, often out of the blue I grab pen and paper and start writing down points and make promise to stick to them. It could be about anything. I do follow them but I must confess I am not very good at it. So I try not to make any.

As I mentioned above that I am very critical of myself so I don’t think I can use the word achievement for myself. My real achievement(s) have yet to come. But then when I look back at things I feel it’s an achievement that I sought education and it polished me as a person. It’s because of that I have a thinking mind.

There was time when I used to think I can make a difference to our society and country. Now I am clueless as to what could be done for bringing the positive change. Forget the change I assure everyone about one thing that I would never harm this society and the country through any malicious act.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Asma Ahsan permalink
    January 8, 2009 5:16 am

    Nice – Honest too! 🙂

    I was tagged too – so basically, I will take the words in blue up there and write about them?

  2. January 8, 2009 6:05 am

    Thats very nicely done! 🙂
    Seen you through the reflection of these words 😛

    Go well!

  3. Ayesha permalink
    January 8, 2009 5:01 pm

    AJ: Yes, express your thoughts and ideas using the same words (in bold font)…

    Aadil: Thanks!:)

  4. Cavaliere permalink
    January 9, 2009 10:27 am

    “Forget the change I assure everyone about one thing that I would never harm this society and the country through any malicious act.”
    If only every person in our country pledges this much to himself, the difference shall automatically come ! 🙂

  5. Ayesha permalink
    January 9, 2009 10:44 am

    Cavaliere: I know it can make a difference but only if people are sincerely ready to make such a pledge 🙂

  6. January 10, 2009 11:16 am

    So simple to read and understand. Well done!
    Duas for your wishes for your parents.

    Your feelings about best friends reflects something. To me, I always believed that friendship is granted and not taken in C++ perspective. But sometimes I think we take best friends by granted and once they are gone then we realize how good they were. It always ended as Best friends are; gone!

  7. Ayesha permalink
    January 10, 2009 12:08 pm

    G: Thank you for your wishes!

    Yes, you are right about being taking friends for granted. I do feel my friends (some of them) took me for granted and that became the reason of our break up 😀

    But overall I have fond memories. No gila shikwa whatsoever! 🙂

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