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November 29, 2008

you“You, tum, ta what should I call you?” She thought. “Aap”. that word never existed in her dictionary for the people she loved. Did she love him? Confused as always. Perhaps not, otherwise she couldn’t have breathed, couldn’t have lived without talking to him for weeks. “Forget the language etiquette, I’ll call “you” instead.” She smiled.

These days she was flirting with his thoughts or maybe it was the other way round. His thoughts were tickling her heart, making her smile. The other day she looked at her reflection in the mirror. To her surprise she wasn’t alone. There were they, the two of them. Laughing, smiling, his arm wrapped around her waist. In a moment her mind dazed, the image split up like a night’s dream and she came back to the real world. The world to which she belonged. She hit her head slightly with her hand and smiled. The desire of calling someone your own is so strong that it can make up images in front of your open eyes in the broad day light.

“How long will it go on like that?” She thought. No answer!

It was as if she had completely forgotten the previous episode with him. The conference, the ride back home, his reply and indifference to her sweet and innocent advances.

Why is that I think of you. It’s like moving in the circle, I end up at the same point from where I take a start. It’s like we are moving in the same circle since I bump into you as always. Smiling, shining like a star in the distant horizon, making me weak. Why I melt upon seeing you? She was once again trapped in those emotions that weren’t alien to her. The sort of emotions that kill second by second. “What a torture!” She sighed.

“Honey the dinner is ready.” Her mom called out.

“Dinner!” She exclaimed. Have I been thinking about him all afternoon? She thoguht and felt so miserable.

During dinner an idea struck her mind and as soon she finished she turned her computer on and started typing a message addressed to him. She poured her heart out; admitted her love for him and explained how restless and helpless she felt. It was a nicely composed note. When she was done and about to hit the “send” button, her ego took her over. Why should I make the first move. He knows and if he’s quiet means he isn’t interested. What if he said no? What if? What if? She deleted the message and took a deep breath.

The last time when she had told him indirectly how much she loved him he had said, “I belong to everyone… not to someone in particular.” He was right. He was loved by all. But how can he not have someone special in life? Years ago, according to rumors he had loved someone so dearly but they split up and since then he was single.

She smiled on her silliness. Yes, he belongs to everyone, always ready to help them out. Perhaps I am suffering from prolonged infatuation. Once that is over I’d be fine. And it’s not a rule that every male-female friendship should must end in marriage.

She picked up the keys and went out for a drive… not realizing that she was heading towards the road where his house has been located.

Picture courtesy Flickr

14 Comments leave one →
  1. Asma permalink
    December 1, 2008 1:38 am

    SHE has a crush on HIM – Its the part that appeals to women where the men are lonely and have split up or lost someone in the past – women cant resist helping out and then become involved and get hurt real bad the day they realise that HE meant what HE said – “I belong to all” means that HE is not looking for love… πŸ˜›

    But women believe that HE is – so therein lies the secret of their heart break. πŸ˜›

    For healthy life, dont get involved with a guy on the rebound. πŸ™‚

  2. Asma permalink
    December 1, 2008 1:39 am

    btw – nice pic – YOU are writing well these days! πŸ˜›

  3. December 1, 2008 4:49 am

    Beautifully expressed; the longing one feels while in love.
    A very nice write up! πŸ™‚

  4. Ayesha permalink
    December 1, 2008 9:34 am

    Asma: I completely agree with your analysis!

    Thank you Aadil and Asma for appreciating my effort πŸ™‚

  5. bmk permalink
    December 1, 2008 11:11 am

    Does she get into his house in dvayum touk or the ego thing comes in her way again. baRi mushkil ho jaayegi iss tarah tau…

  6. Ayesha permalink
    December 1, 2008 11:20 am

    She doesn’t πŸ˜›

  7. Asma permalink
    December 2, 2008 7:58 am

    Yeh B ko soaps pasand hain πŸ˜› and we have to find a girl for Aadi now – πŸ˜›

  8. Ayesha permalink
    December 4, 2008 9:40 pm

    Every second person on earth like soaps. I find them weird πŸ˜•

  9. Asma permalink
    December 5, 2008 12:00 pm

    I dont like them – I like only soap used in cleaning things πŸ˜›

  10. Ayesha permalink
    December 6, 2008 4:59 pm

    I too like that soap πŸ˜†

  11. shah nawaz permalink
    December 6, 2008 8:30 pm

    was it a first crush or a puppy love or an adulation?
    well it could be any.U have caught that very essence of a teenager in that first throes of discovering love.

  12. Ayesha permalink
    December 6, 2008 8:40 pm

    Yes, it could be any. But here it’s like an extended, prolonged crush πŸ™‚

  13. Asma Ahsan permalink
    December 10, 2008 7:20 am

    One sided infatuation – that the worst – but in the long run, its good for health as it makes you aware of the things that make you vulnerable – one has to go through it to learn about love and life, and most of us, be able to guage the level of sincerity we ourselves are capable of reaching in a relationship. πŸ™‚

  14. Ayesha permalink
    December 10, 2008 11:03 am

    Point noted πŸ˜›

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