“You, tum, ta what should I call you?” She thought. “Aap”. that word never existed in her dictionary for the people she loved. Did she love him? Confused as always. Perhaps not, otherwise she couldn’t have breathed, couldn’t have lived without talking to him for weeks. “Forget the language etiquette, I’ll call “you” instead.” She smiled.
These days she was flirting with his thoughts or maybe it was the other way round. His thoughts were tickling her heart, making her smile. The other day she looked at her reflection in the mirror. To her surprise she wasn’t alone. There were they, the two of them. Laughing, smiling, his arm wrapped around her waist. In a moment her mind dazed, the image split up like a night’s dream and she came back to the real world. The world to which she belonged. She hit her head slightly with her hand and smiled. The desire of calling someone your own is so strong that it can make up images in front of your open eyes in the broad day light.
“How long will it go on like that?” She thought. No answer!
It was as if she had completely forgotten the previous episode with him. The conference, the ride back home, his reply and indifference to her sweet and innocent advances.
Why is that I think of you. It’s like moving in the circle, I end up at the same point from where I take a start. It’s like we are moving in the same circle since I bump into you as always. Smiling, shining like a star in the distant horizon, making me weak. Why I melt upon seeing you? She was once again trapped in those emotions that weren’t alien to her. The sort of emotions that kill second by second. “What a torture!” She sighed.
“Honey the dinner is ready.” Her mom called out.
“Dinner!” She exclaimed. Have I been thinking about him all afternoon? She thoguht and felt so miserable.
During dinner an idea struck her mind and as soon she finished she turned her computer on and started typing a message addressed to him. She poured her heart out; admitted her love for him and explained how restless and helpless she felt. It was a nicely composed note. When she was done and about to hit the “send” button, her ego took her over. Why should I make the first move. He knows and if he’s quiet means he isn’t interested. What if he said no? What if? What if? She deleted the message and took a deep breath.
The last time when she had told him indirectly how much she loved him he had said, “I belong to everyone… not to someone in particular.” He was right. He was loved by all. But how can he not have someone special in life? Years ago, according to rumors he had loved someone so dearly but they split up and since then he was single.
She smiled on her silliness. Yes, he belongs to everyone, always ready to help them out. Perhaps I am suffering from prolonged infatuation. Once that is over I’d be fine. And it’s not a rule that every male-female friendship should must end in marriage.
She picked up the keys and went out for a drive… not realizing that she was heading towards the road where his house has been located.
Picture courtesy Flickr