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Of Signs and Tests!

November 1, 2008

I can’t kick out someone who comes knocking on the door asking for some help. I don’t know whether that was my haggard face (with cold), disheveled hair, disorientation from the last night’s blast or the simplicity written across my face. I couldn’t say no. And I knew she had gauged me. She said she was from some orphanage in Mardan, running by some ex principle of Frontier College and that she too grew up in the orphanage. Someone left her when she was just five months old. Poignant!

So…? I asked her.

Anything you can help us with. Then she kicked off heavy-on-ears, crammed debate about the orphans, hell and heaven.

Is this is a sign or a test? I was lost in a deep thought. I run away from such sermons. Has devil taken over me that I can’t tolerate such talks? I wanted her to cut it out and come to the point.

She did stop (perhaps seeing me absorbed in boredom from head to toe). I gave! She left. Before she left, I asked her about the kiddo with a runny nose she was holding. “Is he your…?”

“Oh no, he is from the orphanage too.” She said smiling.

Before she left she prayed. It was moving. Because somewhere I yearn for it… somewhere I fear God and knowing that if she was a crook, I wouldn’t care for my intention was good.


A few lines…

Like every year
Would you remember that day this year?
I know you have an evil memory
I know you always remembered
Like I did unintentionally
Marking the day on my calendar
Making silent wishes
In the name of a relationship
We had once…

9 Comments leave one →
  1. November 1, 2008 12:01 pm

    You’re like my mum, she can never say no to those knocking-on-door-beggers, she just thinks that it’s so WRONG to shut the door on their face.
    It just shows you’re a sweet person at heart.

    Love the poem but so unrelated!

  2. Ayesha permalink
    November 1, 2008 12:18 pm

    Thanks… 🙂

    Err… I know the poem doesn’t fit in here… it is actually for the month of November 😛

  3. November 1, 2008 2:08 pm

    actually self satisfaction is the most precious thing we can purchase. doesn’t matter if someone is needy or not. rightly said we should not say NO. apart from this we should make sure that our act of giving does not encourage professional beggars. though i myself cause some money to slip out to their pockets, jab wo khap pa pa k mintain kartayy hain to. but something given in the name of Allah is always a big investment. i never give anything to a person who questions inside masjid, nobody should. it is strictly prohibited

  4. Asma permalink
    November 2, 2008 12:05 pm

    The post is good – very true – I have issues turning away beggars too!

    And the poem – Interesting – 😛

  5. Ayesha permalink
    November 3, 2008 12:06 pm

    Thank you D and Asma 🙂

    The poem is surreal… I feel that when I read it 😛

  6. November 3, 2008 1:43 pm

    i second hfm, u are very kind and indeed, intentions weigh heavier than deeds themselves…

    as for me, because of all those beggar mafia, i m becoming more immune to such ‘sermon’ preachers on streets day by day…
    am i to blame for this? i don’t know …

    i’ll rather help someone who i’m sure is in dire need of it…

    And Allah (SWT) knows best!

  7. November 5, 2008 3:28 pm

    sometimes people arent the way we think of them… and we can find jewels out of the very ordinary of them… its only when we look deep inside the cave 🙂

  8. November 7, 2008 4:52 pm

    Sometimes. Specially when I ned some new ideas, I dig up old stuff.

  9. Ayesha permalink
    November 8, 2008 10:46 am

    Equisite: I am also sick of beggars but she wasn’t even a beggar 😛

    Afaque: I believe caves are inhabited by snakes mostly 😛

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