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Stream of Thoughts

December 25, 2009

Another rather eventful year has been inching towards an end. Some wise person said the end of one thing is the beginning of another. This year was such that I’d like to remember and forget at the same time. I never make a conscious effort of remembering things; it is just that I can’t forget. So last night I took a deep plunge (again an unconscious effort) in the ocean of memories. I don’t know why odd and strange thoughts were pouring. Let’s take a sneak peek into the absurdness of my thoughtful streamline:

Wire Microphone: What was with those old wire microphones that we would see in the PTV stage shows in 80s and 90s? I mean did you ever notice the way the host or the guest while singing or talking fiddle with it. And if the host had to come down from stage to talk with the guests they would constantly juggle with the wire. It could make anyone trip over it. Now that is what I call absurd. I have no clue how the thought of those microphones came to my mind in the middle of the night. The pop icons of 80s, Nazia & Zoheb, would play with it while singing. They had their own distinct style and since I used to watch them on TV a lot so that thing seem to be embedded in subconscious. Besides, many actors and singers gave birth to unique style while performing with microphone in hand. Some instances are: Papa Kehte Hain – Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak and Ruk Ja O’ Dil – Dil Wale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge.

For years the pop singers have been using different sort of microphones in their song videos and sometimes the rock stars really go wild with it. Yes, once a rock star kicked the mike stand after ending his performance. That was his style you know!

Junoonistan: I am from Junoonistan! That is how I introduce myself in the cyber world. Why is that so? Someone asked me once. Let me explain although I don’t feel obliged to be giving explanations but anyway, this is sort of interesting or at least I feel so. My dreamsville is a bizarre place because I think, I see the strangest dreams and they are like movies. Continuous. Vivid. Full of drama and emotions. I literally look forward to sleeping because I know I’d see something bizarre or amusing. I can meet people over there who aren’t with me anymore. And my dreams do trigger the ideas of several stories in my mind. So basically it is a total crazy place that I visit every night (sometimes in day time too) hence I call it Junoonistan.

My Machine: I got my present machine *pause*… my computer… in December 2006. That was my first exclusive, personal machine protected with passwords etc. I have my whole world in it. There is no world without memories. I was considering changing or switching to new one because this one, due to excessive use has been aging fast. Like the keys are acting up. You never know when the whole system conked out. But then I sort of got emotional to think that I have so many memories attached with it. I had had the most amazing conversations with friends and family on it. I typed so many stories, poems and blogs using this machine. So definitely whenever I changed it I will miss it. I hate being ‘emo’ but what can I do I am like that *sniff sniff*!

Memories: Memory is the recurring theme of my stories, poems and general blogs. There are certain memories that I like recalling because I always feel happy to think about them. Then there are some memories that are though not bad in the real sense but still suffocate me. So I try not to think about them. The opening line in Garcia’s ‘Love in the time of Cholera’ is, ‘The scent of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love.’ I feel such suffocating memories remind me the scent of bitter almonds. Something that you want to spit out as soon they dissolve the bitterness in your mouth. My relationship with memories would always be that of love-hate!

New Year Resolution: Losers make New Year Resolutions! Have you ever noticed that successful people make assessments of their success and not resolutions? My resolutions always rot between the old pages of my diary. I hardly stick by them so I rebelled a few years ago and stopped making resolutions. Well, at least, I saved myself from imminent frustration that one is bound to face upon failing to fulfill those resolutions. Life should be uncomplicated and simple!

Camera’s Eye: Are you scared of it? Especially the video camera fitted in the four inch device that stays in everyone’s pocket. I am not a camera shy but I believe no one should be filmed without prior permission. It was for that reason the makers introduced loud default ‘click’ sound in every camera so that the person get to know whose photo has been taken. These days every news network encourage people to film the disaster, an accident or an act of terrorism and then share the footage with them. Camera, camera, it’s everywhere and sometimes I feel being living under the watchful eye of ‘big brother’. It irritates me sometimes!

Music: I am reverting back to it. I am discovering some new and interesting music these days both classic and the latest one. I think I gave enough of cold shoulder to it. Music keeps one occupied and it often gives birth to new ideas to write. It was due to this I thought of getting an iPod Shuffle. I’d get digital and my music library will become compact!

Expectations: Is it good to nurture them? What about those that are within believable, achievable limit but still fail to fulfill? I think I would never understand the complex nature of expectations. I know one thing, if you expect from a person and the expectations don’t fulfill it hurts but if you expect from God and the expectations fail it kills.

Vital Signs & Junoon: Almost everyone who grew up in 90s loves both these bands. I am no exception. I have beautiful memories of those days and I can’t believe what a music freak I used to be. They gave us some of the true evergreen songs. I kept listening to them throughout the year and most probably will do so in future!

2010: Like always is linked with one word, ‘anticipation’.

And then I dozed off… but the last thought before entering Junoonistan was that I have got visitors from all across the world on my blog. And once, that is a couple of weeks back to be precise, someone visited my blog from, OuagadougouI admit I had never heard of that city/country before. I admit that I can’t even pronounce that name. But I welcome the lone visitor. Hope you found on my blog what you were searching for!

Happy New Year all!

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. December 26, 2009 7:22 am

    Nice post… and nice interdiction… by the way hope you have a bless, safe and happy 2010 year…
    Wish you a happy new year Ayesha :)

  2. December 28, 2009 5:38 am

    I would like to say a few words regarding new year resolutions. I believe it is wise to mentally prepare yourself for the new year. Usually the goals we set may not be that practical, or probably we have aimed to high. But have you realized what would the situation have been had you not set any goals at the beginning of the new year at all? One should always aim higher in order to get something, and setting goals allows your brain to prepare yourself for the next year.

    So do make resolutions. Make sure that they are generic and allow you flexibility. Don’t overload yourself with them; you won’t be able to accomplish 20-ish things in a resolutions list because then you would be confused about what you really want to do first! Around 4-5 should be just fine.

    Hope you have a great joyous new year! :)

  3. December 29, 2009 7:42 am

    A very happy new year from my side as well! :)

  4. Adnan permalink
    December 30, 2009 5:08 am

    Ayesha,

    U know what, It’s always very interesting to read your new post and once again, I agree more than what I do not agree here. Yup, Stream of thoughts flow like a river, sometimes fast, sometimes slow and sometimes it doesn’t flow. I like the way you introduces yourself. Not only U but we all belong to Junoonistan, everyone has one’s own dreamland and everyone wants to live in that regardless of the illusions they carry.

    About memories, it’s true that some of them we want to recall and some of these we do not but most of the times, memory helps us somehow to preserve our inventory of events. One can recall some refreshing memories and as Keats said ” A Thing of Beauty is a Joy forever.” So good memories always refreshes you and touches your heart.

    Once again, You are very right about music. U know what Ayesha, the way we are living in Pakistan with so many tragedies and miseries, Music is like a healing cure for us. So Good and Nice music would do wonder with our heart and mind. If I would be a poet like you, I will write a “NOHA” about Pakistan my beloved motherland.

    Well, I do not agree with you about Expectation. You’ve written that ” I know one thing, if you expect from a person and the expectations don’t fulfill it hurts but if you expect from God and the expectations fail it kills.” My experience is totally different with yours. Whenever I expect anything from a person, It never fulfills but whenver I expect anything from The Lord, He always Gives me that. U know what, I’m not a very religious or pious man but God is The Greatest and He’s Sweater and More Kind than mothers.

    I agree with azure’s comments that we have to at least set some targets for us about the new year but yes, you are right we can only do that after assessing our past failures and mistakes.

    My comments are getting very lengthy and boring so I would sum it up by saying that Ayesha! This is a very nice post once again and thanx for your post and your blog. It’s really an interesting place to be. Keep on writing such thoughtful posts.

  5. December 31, 2009 10:25 am

    WEll written ayesha :)

    I don’t believe in planning, so do in setting goals or resolutions….

    Rest I believe in hope, so hopefully year 2010 will be blessed by the Allah Almighty :)

  6. January 1, 2010 9:50 pm

    great blog, happy new year wishes!

  7. January 2, 2010 6:30 am

    Wappy Wappy Twenty10!!! : )

    btw, I’m not bery much interested in this new year, old year things from inside. yet i do ‘celebrate’ with whoever do so & don’t with the ones who don’t. defining certain occasions for hulla gulla is not bad, i guess.

    Time is not digital actual. since a human has the limitation to sense the continuity therefore its classified in seconds, minutes, hrs & so on for references. With the welp of compooters, now they are able to measure milli, micro, nano seconds yet the limitation beyond, is there.

    I stop the scientific philosophy here, kansidering your interest but I must kamend the series of thought provoking posts lately. You better look into generating the DSL & Cell Phone monthly charges with content writing somewhere. I am bery much kanfident about your skills.

  8. January 3, 2010 9:30 am

    Thanks for the great posting – and happy new year to you all :)

  9. January 3, 2010 10:09 pm

    thanks for this – happy holidays :D

  10. January 5, 2010 10:00 pm

    Assalamoalaikum,

    Eid mubarak, belated one and also happy new year. As usual I found your post very interesting, although disagreed with some things :D I must admit though, I ahvent read it all yet, just been back from long absence today. InshaAllah will try and catch up with your blog.
    P.S, once a woman stood on the opposite road from me, with normal traffic and I was there next to a very very scenic place with my youngest son wearing my abaya. She thought it must be artistic that a covered woman standing near huhndreds of flowers ) near my home) and just took a photo of me and quickly started walking away at a very fast pace, my other kids were returning from school so I couldnt even yell at her the school bus came, she was gone when they came out.

    Ill never forgive her…

  11. January 14, 2010 3:35 pm

    May this year bring loads of joy N success to your life :-) [Ameen-sum-Ameen] – btw liked the new year resolution part :-P

  12. January 16, 2010 1:54 pm

    Thank you all for your comments!

    And ‘Alhamdulliah’ long time no see. You appeared and then disappeared? Hope things are fine at your end! :)

  13. January 18, 2010 4:27 pm

    Assalamoalaikum, I do read your blog almost ritually :p but I dont normally comment on movies etc, because i ahve abolutely no idea about it and I only know Amir khan, other names are martian for me :D

    hence i just hibernate.. recently lots going on at home too…

    Will be around inshaAllah, keep blogging girl!!

    • January 19, 2010 10:38 am

      I am really glad that you read me regularly. I would like to read you as well!

      I know you don’t watch TV or movies for that matter but that is all I am writing about these days :D

      Hope to read you soon! :)

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