In the strangulating solitude
A wish quivers on my lips
That I could re-write
The end of our story
That started on a good note
And ended on a bitter one
Posted by: Ayesha | January 13, 2009
The Lament
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Ayesha
gone those days when stories use to end on the phrase “so they lived happily ever after”
yeh i wish that too !
By: yesterdaywazbetter on January 13, 2009
at 4:02 pm
Nice one Ayesha. the last two verses are redundant, however.
By: shobig on January 13, 2009
at 7:54 pm
Very nice! Liked the phrase ’strangulating solitude’.
Share more!
By: Aadil on January 14, 2009
at 4:27 am
wish we could rewrite the ending of our story too … but we wish it was a bitter end … coz atleast then we wouldn’t have to remember everything in such a beautiful and painful way nor have to suffer as much as we are suffering now !!
By: Ubaid on January 14, 2009
at 7:22 am
Shobig: If I remove these sentences wouldn’t it look incomplete?
Aadil: Thanks… I’ll try!
By: Ayesha on January 14, 2009
at 4:49 pm
I think shobig is right, the last two lines are redundant as you’ve already expressed the desire to re-write that story — meaning therefore, that the end was a bitter one or atleast not as you’d ve wanted it to be..
Rest of it is very very good !
By: Cavaliere on January 14, 2009
at 9:45 pm
Ditto Cavaliere! And every story starts on a good note, so no need to mention that explicitly either. My two pence
By: shobig on January 15, 2009
at 7:06 pm
I am thinking to scrap the whole poem!
Or maybe change it when something relevant strikes my mind. For now, I’ll leave it as it is.
By: Ayesha on January 17, 2009
at 8:33 pm
Gosh, I love this!
happy endings make you wonder what exactly did they do with their fianaces and other troublesome woes which occur in life.
Like in Cinderalla, after she married the Prince didn’t they ever argue over the wailing babies, over have petty fights over leaving the toilet seat down???Geez, it’s too unrealistic.
By: hfm on January 17, 2009
at 9:51 pm